I feel generally terrible about the whole ordeal. Everybody knows that Shawn and I were on the outs. It wasn't that I didn't like him, I've always liked him and respected him. It was my fault entirely, and I soured our relationship by making generalizations about things I wasn't a part of. Maybe I was disappointed that I wasn't a part of his life at the time. Either way I acted in the entirely wrong fashion and caused trouble.

I have some excellent memories of Shawn - the way I will always remember him to be.
I remember taking him to his first concert (AFI) and his insecurities regarding proper concert attire. We went to backstage and bought a T-shirt for him, which we both thought was probably too small. Either way he was too nervous and hastily decided that it was perfect. The next morning, after the sweaty and revitalizing concert experience, he told me that the shirt had shrunk and that it definitely wouldn't fit him anymore. He bought another one what seemed like the following week, and wore it forever.

I also remember playing baseketball with Shawn, Ryan, Felton, Patrick McDonald and John Newton etc. Going out for jones colas and walking down to Centennial hylands to use the nets. We were all terrible, but Shawn and Ryan were amazing.

At that same school, years later, we ran around - played on abandoned playgrounds (both greenwood while being disassembled and CHES). We ran and hid and shouted like idiots - because it was fun and we wanted to. We had drive-by staple-gun fights (even though they rarely went further than an inch). We bundled up, and stopped by at my place to get extra hats and mitts (it was cold!) I remember really enjoying those moments. It was something I would never have done on my own - but with Shawn the simplest things became extraordinary.

I also remember always wanting to be more like him in this regard - even when he was in grade 4 everybody wanted to be around him. He had his "weird club" and everything was "weird" I remember he said he was holding applications for this group. My task was to sink a basket backwards with my eyes closed. I did. And I was welcomed.

I'm going to miss him. I just wish that I'll get the chance to know him better, and get back on good terms with him. If not, lets cement ourselves and celebrate our memories together.